Underground
by Crystal Volcheck
Summary: "Open the door Al,"Matthew rattled the door handle finding it locked. "Please tell me what's wrong!" he pleaded pounding his fist against the door the commotion on the other side having seemed to stop. AU USUK PRUCAN
1. Prologue

**This story is a highschool AU, with UsxUk and maybe some PruCan as a second pairing. It focuses on the different types of 'underground' music and anything that isn't too main stream to show just how fake high school makes you. So characters such as America have been forced into Tripp pants and fishnet with various piercings. ****The rating may go up later on and they are 15 in the flashback but 17 currently.**

**Also I don't own Hetalia**

* * *

Underground: Nü Metal

_The Beginning_

_"Its just like a cigarette, its something that I do  
Once in awhile but between me and you  
Its just like a cigarette Nobody's really fooled  
I dont want the truth, I wanna feel fucking cool"~ Fort Minor 'Cigarettes'_

_The alley was how it all began, one day after school a short British blond haired green eyed teen named Arthur Kirkland stared up at the grey sky a cigarette hanging loosely between his chapped lips as he leaned against the graffiti covered alley wall as usual . It must have been quite the sight for anyone passing by, the student body president of the most prestigious school in the country standing around like any other teenage delinquent._

_"I always wondered what you did after school." Arthur turned his head sharply to see the star player of OliveBranch Academy's (American) football team Alfred F. Jones had found him._

_"Well if it isn't the hamburger gangster himself, am I in your territory or can you kindly piss off." The American only chuckled pulling a crumbled box of something from the front pocket of his blinding blue hoodie. For a moment he thought about the consequences of getting caught smoking so close to school grounds due to the American's loud mouth. _

_"Naw, just wondering if you had a light. Don't really feel like going home today." Since when did he smoke? The shorter teen wondered fishing out a lighter from his back pocket._

_"Well, that makes two of us." The two stood in silence and nicotine haze. "You're oddly quiet for once. Any reason you don't feel like going home?" The Brit commented after some time flicking the remainder his cigarette further in to the alley._

_"You're rather chatty for once. I don't know. Just don't want to be alone I guess, makes it too tempting," Alfred shrugged in return also finishing his own cigarette. "What about you?"_

_"Avoiding my brothers, all royal pains in my arse. Don't you have a twin brother?"_

_"We're not twins only half brothers. He's three days older than me and Canadian."_

_"That's rather unusual, I must say." _

_"My family's rather different in general. My father was German while my mother was Native American. Not to mention I have fifty cousins, one in each state, who share the same birthdates as the day that the state they live in became a state. It's pretty damn freaky."_

_"So which state are you?" Arthur chucked slightly amused, the boy was rather odd to begin with, surely it was genetic or he was lying._

_"Not a state, born on July 4th in Washington D.C. then lived in various states for most of my life. What about you?"_

_"Born in London, but my family moved here when I was four. I get to go back every summer to visit my oldest brother and get away from the others."_

_"Hmm" they fell back into a comfortable silence. "I better get going, Mattie should be back from the library by now. We should do this again some time."_

_"Yeah we should, but don't think I'll be going easy on you when we're in school." The two shared a smile before the blue-eyed teen pulled his hood back over his face and vanished around the corner._

_Soon it became routine, the two teens would share a cigarette in the back alley and talk about nothing. Only when they left there was something different between them, a connection that they couldn't figure out._

_Unlike other previous days the feeling made itself obvious leaving both unsure of what to do with the building tension between them as their eyes locked sapphire meeting emerald, empathy of the unknown darkness in their minds._

_"So, what did you mean by 'it's too tempting'? You said it the first time we were in the alley." At this the taller of the two turned away biting his lower lip._

_"Don't worry about it, I shouldn't have said anything. Just being stupid or forgetful rather, bringing up old wounds."Alfred shied away hiding his face further with shadow cast by his hoodie. There was something in his voice now, almost something that said that he wanted to tell the truth._

_"I don't understand you. At school you act like some damned fool, some wannabe gangster badass, or your own twisted version of Captain America. Yet, when you're alone you change completely. You stop smiling, trying be fake, and I want to know why." Arthur took a step towards the American, then gently pushed back the hood hiding the blonde's handsome features. His finger tips brushing Alfred's cheek._

_"I don't understand you. You act so serious, so proper. Like if you're not perfect the world will fall apart or you're afraid to be different or show emotion. I don't know why, but I just need to get some type of reaction out of you," Their eyes met once more, only this time was different a hint of realization crossed Alfred's face. "You're the one who plays guitar in the music room during lunch."_

_"How'd you make that connection?" Arthur pulled his hand away his cheeks flushed._

_"You have calluses on your fingertips, the kind you only get from playing guitar. I know that because I play as well."_

_"You're changing the subject." _

_"You're the first person to get this close. Do you really hate me like you say you do?" _

_"No, it's just an act. I'm jealous of you, how is it you are able to jump into the fray? How do you not have to fight with yourself to figure out what's right or wrong? Do you even think half the time?" Alfred laughed._

_"No I don't, emotion not thought works best for me. I'm wired to act on impulse."_

_"Maybe I'll have to give in to impulse just once."A dangerous predatory glint flashed in the Brit's eyes._

_"What-mmf" the blue- eyed teen was cut off my a pair of warm lips against his, but soon enough the pressure was gone just as soon as it came._

_"I want to get to know you Alfred. I know you're not this happy go-lucky wannabe gangster you pretend to be, you're more than that. I also know that I could fall in love with you if given the chance." Arthur glanced down his green eyes holding a far-off look, a blush bloom across his face._

_"I highly doubt that, if you knew who I really was, you wouldn't fall for me. Not if you cared for your life."_

_"Maybe I don't, you're not the only one with secrets."_

_"Well, it's not a secret that I'm head over heels for you." Alfred smirked capturing the shorter blond's lips._

"What are you staring at Jones? And didn't I warn you about listening to your iPod during school hours?"

"And what are you going to do about it?" Alfred pulled the earbud out, watching as Arthur winced hearing what the bespeckled blond had been listening to. Everyone knew how much the Brit hated rap music, not that Alfred liked it that much himself.

"Come see me after school, I do believe it's your third detention this week." They stared at each other for a moment longer, the hatred that was normally there had faded insted it was replaced by want. Anyone observing them would have noticed it, but the two blonds lashing out at each other as a normal thing during school hours.

"I can't wait."

"Don't worry I'll make it worth your while." With that the Brit left smirking, England was getting even more anxious to be free and Alfred could tell. He quickly switched his iPod to something more fitting. All around him the alter egos were starting to show, even his smile was starting to fall. Good-bye Alfred and hello America.


	2. Chapter One

**Well, I sorta made Canada OOC, but I think he could be totally badass if he wanted too and I like the thought of him being an over protective older brother and vise versa for Alfred. **

**Anyway, fair warning of forshadowed Prucan and obvious USUK**

**Also I don't own Hetalia**

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Underground

_Invisible_

_"Do you think you could speak up for a change?  
cuz I won't take much more of feeling I'm not here  
don't wanna bother you, I've done enough for years  
don't wanna hold you down, don't wanna hold your fears  
don't want to bother you or try to offend  
cuz it takes one step and then you're gone with the wind"~ Parabelle 'Bother'_

"Really, Al? You got another detention? Mom's going to be pissed when you tell her." Matthew Williams lectured his younger brother as they stood in the empty hallway, the bell having long since rang.

"Chill Mattie, just go wait over at the library or just go home if you want." Alfred frowned at the inside of his locker, just were had his Algebra II book gone? Oh well, he had study hall Monday morning. Then the locker was slammed shut, making his brother cringe at the volume.

"Fine, I'll call you when detention lets out, "the Canadian sighed heading for the stairs. Just what was wrong with his brother? He hadn't acted out this much before, it was a miracle that he was still on the football team with all the stunts that he's pulled. Then again Alfred hadn't been the same since he asked for his own room back in 7th grade. Of course it got even weirder when their mother had forbade him from going in to Al's room last year. "What is it that you're hiding from me?" He asked out load to no one as he sat in his usual corner at the library, it was empty like normal, even the librarian on duty was nowhere to be seen.

_"How could you even hope to understand?" The conversation always ends with the same question, each and every time drawing her in closer. Just what was it that she was supposed to understand? He hardly gave her anything to go off of, giving her more cryptic messages than answers. Today she couldn't let it end that way, she would make him answer the question she asked. No more playing Mad Hatter and expecting her to figure out why a raven is like a writing desk._

_"Morning Love, have you found all the answers who've been looking for?" he greeted his usual way, tipping his white fedora down at her in acknowledgement. _

_"Are you done asking questions?" her reply was short and sharp causing the man clad in white to raise his delicately shaped eyebrows in surprise._

_"Tell me my dear how long has it been?" the question startled her. Just how long had she been going into the rose garden to speak with him. When had she even first discover him? Perhaps it had been that summer evening when she was 11 and just gotten into a fight with her parents. She remembered running through winding paths, thorns tearing at her skin, before stumbling into his arms. At first she thought that he was ghost dressed in all white, with fiery red eyes, and platinum almost snow white blond hair._

_"What's this now? A little rabbit has found her way into my garden?" his voice was light almost hypnotic._

_"W-who are you?"she sniffled backing away prepared to run once more._

_"The better question is who am I not?"_

_"That's a silly answer. You just asked another question."_

_"You didn't ask the right question to begin with. The right question would have been for you to ask me my name."_

_"Then what is your name?"_

_"I don't know. I don't think I've ever had one."_

_"How can someone not have a name?"_

_"Why is it that you have a name?"_

_"I don't actually know. But if you don't have a name, then how could you assume that I have a name to begin with?"_

_"Ah, you're a smart one. I didn't, I just assumed. After all not everyone is like me. Is there any one like you?"_

"Hey Birdie! Seen your brother anywhere?" just as he was getting into his book the voice of Gilbert Beilschmidt tore him from the pages. A breath caught in his throat, the self-proclaimed Prussian reminded him of the Mad Hatter in his book. Even dressed in white skinny jeans and a matching white hoodie decorated with fake blood splatters and black feathers, only a fedora was missing to complete the look.

"Oh, hi Gil. I just sent him off to detention about a half hour ago." A small blush dusted his cheeks as the albino drew closer a smirk playing on his lips.

"Really now? Since last time I checked they didn't have detention on Fridays and Alfred hasn't had a detention yet this year." There was clear confusion in his voice as he took a seat infront of the blond. Hadn't Alfred told his brother anything about the Underground?

"What are you talking about? He had detention just the other week."

"Looks like your brother's been pulling the wool over your eyes." Gilbert chuckled seeing the anger in Matthew's violet eyes, it seemed that America had decided to keep that a secret. Maybe now he would reconsider this threat about going after his older brother.

"That hoser! Sorry Gil, I have to go kick my brother's ass." The blond jumped to his feet pulling out a cell phone, leaving the Prussian behind. _Damn, that was hot. He's almost as awesome as me,_ Gilbert thought enjoying the view of the Canadian's backside.

"About time someone other than Arthur did."

"Damn! I looked all over the school and there's still no sign of him." Matthew's anger was fading into worry. What else had his brother lied about? He quickly dialed Alfred's phone pausing outside of the Student Council's office.

_"What could be better than a swan dive into the asphalt  
I don't know, nothing can be better than a swan dive into the asphalt"_

"Bloody Hell Alfred! I thought you turned that damn thing off!" A very British voice swore on the other side of the door.

"Sorry, I thought I did. It's Matt, I better answer."

"Do so and then change that ringtone of yours!"Arthur grumbled. Matthew could hear the shifting of desks when his brother picked up.

"_Hey, bro wat up?"_

_"Where are you Al?"_

_"I'm in detention, teacher left for a quick break."_

_"No you're not. Gilbert just told me that there wasn't detention on Friday and I just walked past the detention room."_

_"Shit, look I'll meet you in front of the school in ten minutes."_

_"Make it five."_ Then he simply hung up, but decided to linger a moment longer, listening to Arthur and Alfred's conversation.

"Finally, got caught I see."

"Yeah, but he still doesn't know everything."

"It's better that way, love."

"I know, I just envy him at times. He doesn't have to be fake all the time, like we do."

"Well, we won't have to be fake tonight. Isn't that right America?"

"Hmm, get to put our 'special relationship' on display for the world."

"It's more for Hungary than anyone else."

"Hey do you think she'd kick Prussia's ass for me? He was the one who ratted me out."

"No doubt she would, still upset over Austria afterall."

"Please, everyone knows it was only a fling between them."

"Of course. However we can talk later, your brother is going to kill you if you're not outside in two minutes." Matthew took this as his chance to leave, shaking his head in confusion. What had the two been talking about? It didn't make any sense, using the names of countries. And what was with Arthur calling Alfred 'love'? Or the mention of a special relationship? He had just sat down on the edge of the sidewalk when he heard the door open behind him.

"Hey, Mattie ready to head home?" His brother pulled off a hollywood smile pulling him off his feet. "What's wrong?" Concern clear in his brother's brillant blue eyes, it made him wonder for a moment on how anyone would mistake them as twins. Only that thought vanished, overwhelmed by all the other questions filling his mind.

"I'm fine. Just curious as to what it is you've been hiding."

"What are you talking about? I haven't been hiding anything!" Alfred's voice grew sharp and defensive only validating the Canadian's orginal question.

"Then why lie about having detention?" he didn't want to bring up the fact that his younger brother had also lied about the previous detentions.

"Okay, so maybe I didn't have 'detention' per say. Look, Arthur just wanted to see me about how I could get kicked off the football team if I keep up with the detentions."

"Then try behaving for once." Matthew sighed letting the subject drop. There was no way he'd get his brother to spill his guts with just evidence of him not actually having detention. There was just too much he didn't know, as if his brother had another life, that no one knew about.


	3. Chapter Two

**Fair warning; there is a shit ton of swearing ahead. But what else would you expect from Americans? We seem to swear for no apparent reasons, just drop an F-Bomb here or there and it's all good. Shame on you Alfred.**

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Underground

_Reaction_

_"Hey, I'm pleading  
My soul is bleeding  
I don't want to be left alone  
Not when I'm right next to you  
What are you thinking?  
It's so misleading  
Is it not for me to know  
I think it's just hard for you to show" ~ Trapt 'Enigma'_

"Stupid Francis, I can't believe I'm related to that hoser," Matthew cursed quietly slamming the front door shut behind him. He had spent the night down the street at his cousin Francis's house to work on their French project while Alfred had the fun of going out for fun. He didn't know what irked him more, Alfred going out or him being stuck with the Bad Touch Trio and then having said trio drag him around town and bring up bad memories and awkward situations. "Ugh and then Antonio knows how I feel about Gilbert and decides to bring it up in front of my ex that moment we run into her? I hate seeing Irunya cry." He froze realizing just how quiet it was in the house.

"Fuck Mattie! Keep it down!" Alfred emerged from the kitchen a cup of coffee in hand breaking the silence. From the looks of it his brother had just woken up, flaxen blonde hair sticking up at odd angles, and clad in only blue pajama pants. "I'm going to fucking slaughter Russia, Cold War over or not." He muttered heading for the stairs.

"Were you drinking last night?" anger rising in the Canadian's voice. It was obvious that the blue-eyed teen was hungover, the scent of stale alcohol lingering on his brother's skin.

"It wasn't my intent to get totally wasted last night or this morning. Whatever the hell time it was."

"Do you have a death wish? When Mom finds out she'll kill you! What the hell were you even thinking? Drinking underage? Where did you even get the alcohol from?" Matthew blocked the stairs. This was taking it too far, he knew his brother liked to screw around, but breaking the law? It was time to get answers from Alfred, by any means.

"Quit shouting, damn. My head feels like it's about to explode," Alfred set his mug down rubbing his temples. "What does it matter to you anyway? It's not affecting you in any way."

"No, it's not, but it will affect mom. Don't you think she's gone through enough? What would Dad think? I remember you always wanting to do good and be a hero."

"Dad's dead, he has been for years. I doubt he'd care anyway, to busy sleeping his way around the world to begin with." Alfred's blue eyes darkened dangerously, like a monster had been awakened. "Stand aside Matt."

"Not until you tell me what is going on with you. I watched you lie to Mom, you've lied to me. You've never acted out like this before, which is saying quite a bit considering what an attention whore you are." the violet-eyed teen spat back. That's the smart thing to do, provoke someone who has played football for three years and could crush you like an insect.

"You have no idea, just how fucking lucky you are! No one ever notices you! You never have to worry about grades, what people think of your sexuality, or have to hide what you really are," Alfred's voice started to shake, he bit his lip in hesitation. "You have no idea." Before Matthew could blink he was pushed against the wall, his breath knocked from his lungs._ I guess all those years of Alfred being a wide receiver did make a difference._ The thought appeared out of nowhere as he watched his brother flee to his bedroom in a matter of seconds.

"What the fuck are you talking about? Answer me Alfred!" the Canadian wheezed rushing up the stairs, he was only athletic out on the ice during hockey season.

"Fuckidy fuck fuck! Where the fuck are they? Damn! Fuck my life to fucking hell!" a series of crashes following the long string of curses that spilled from his brother's lips from beyond the solid oak door separating them.

"Open the door Al,"Matthew rattled the handled finding it locked. "Please tell me what's wrong!" he pleaded pounding his fist against the door the commotion on the other side having seemed to stop.

"Matthew? What's going on?" the worried voice of their mother reached his ears.

"Al locked himself in his room! He won't answer me." He heard his mother drop her bags at the foot of the stairs and rush upstairs.

"Oh God." She tore a bobby pin from her hair falling in front of the door long enough to pick the lock. _Where did she learn to do that?_ In a matter of seconds the door swung open revealing an empty room and an open window. "He's gone."

"Where would he have to go? It's already after 5:00."

"Don't worry about it, Matt. I'll just make a quick phone call after dinner," Her chocolate brown eyes surveyed the room. All the items on the dresser were now on the floor, piles of clothes rearranged, books flung all over. None of it seemed good, not when her eyes fell on the empty prescription bottles hidden under Alfred's practice sweats a detail Matthew thankfully missed. "Let's go downstairs and you can tell me what happened."

"Sure." The violet-eyed teen couldn't look away from the posters and drawings on his brother's walls. It didn't seem to fit Alfred's all-American personality, monsters and blood splatters, band names like _Slipknot, As I Lay Dying, Bullet for My Valentine, _and _Mudvayne._ He felt numb for a moment remembering a conversation he had overheard between Alfred and their mother when he returned from his trip to Canada.

_"I really don't have anything to say Mom. I don't know why I did it, I just felt like I had to." Alfred's voice was oddly lifeless as he spoke, each word barely above a whisper._

_"I understand that, just…try to remember from now on. I doubt you'd want your brother to see you in that state."_

_"I know, it hurts enough to know Arthur found me like that."_

_"I'm just glad he found you before it was too late."_

"He left his phone on the counter." Matthew spoke up setting his plate in the sink turning to face him mother, guilt over whelming him. What if Alfred doesn't come home? It was already 7:30 now.

"I think I know where he went. _I apologize for calling so late Mrs. Kirkland, but I was wondering if Alfred has showed up on your doorstep recently?...I see, they went out…I'm not sure what happened…Well, as long as Arthur's with him I don't have to worry…..Hahaha I'm sure he won't be returning home soon then…Alright I'll see you at work tomorrow Alice."_

_"_He's out with Arthur?" a shocked expression crossed his face. Out of all of the people Alfred could have gone to, he went to Arthur.

"They left about twenty minutes ago. Now, can you tell me what happened?" Matthew's voice began to shake as he retold the whole story never leaving out one part. He even went further into how his brother had been lying about detentions. To which the amused smile on his mother's face only confused him more.

"Listen to yourself Matthew. The two of are seventeen, I'm sure there are things you've done, but never told him about. Besides have you ever considered that he wants to feel independent from you. I mean people mistake you as twins all the time."

"But I've never seen him act this way."

"I don't know what to say to that Matthew. Maybe let your brother have some space, he might open up to you then."

"What about him drinking and smoking?"

"I'll talk to him about that myself. Just because your father isn't around doesn't mean I can't handle being a single parent. I'm sure your own mother taught you that much."

"I'm just worried about him."

"You're not the only one."

~_~_ ~_Just a few hours earlier~_~_~_

"Alfred?" the green eyed Brit asked in shock seeing the trembling American on his front porch.

"Hey Arthur, I - stop me." Tears filled sky blue eyes.

"You forgot didn't you?" Arthur ushered him into his bedroom sitting Alfred down on the bed.

"No, I ran out. I was doing so good, but then - I want it so bad." The blue-eyed teen's shaking worsened.

"Look at me Alfred," the Brit cupped Alfred's cheek forcing him to look up. "You can't leave me, not ever again. I won't allow it." He pressed his lips to Alfred's sealing the promise with a kiss. He couldn't let that happen, the memory too painful.

"Thank you."

"Pray tell, love. What happened?"

"Mattie has been watching me like a hawk since the detention thing."

"That was only yesterday."

"Still, he keeps trying to get the truth out of me. And today he flipped out on me, my hangover was a bit obvious. Then we just started fighting and I snapped. I was so scared, the thought just came rushing, I felt like I was being drowned," Alfred shuttered. "I wish I could tell him, but then I'd have nothing left. Not like he'd understand to begin with."

"It's our curse, one we can't do anything about. Maybe the world meeting tonight will take your mind off things."

"Will it take some things off you?" Humor danced in Alfred's blue-eyes, real humor, not a medication induced smile. Which meant it wasn't Alfred in front of him, it was America, the mask removed.

"Bloody wanker, learn some proper manners." Arthur rolled his eyes, his mask was gone now, he was England. They had nothing to hide and nothing to fear, all worries forgotten. The cursed was lifted, even if only for a few hours.


	4. Chapter Three

Underground

Worries

"this is the peace that resisted  
this is the piece that you're missing, a little luck  
this is a major commitment  
this is the last time you'll fade  
this is his last ditch resistance  
this is the road to persistence  
if this is the major attraction, are you alarmed?  
this is the way you can fix it  
this the way you convince me?  
this is the way that you fix me  
this is the way you fuck off"`~ Parabelle 'Are You Alarmed?'

"_I thought you said that you would stop." Arthur scolded tracing the newly heals cuts that ran down his lover's sides as they shared a brief kiss._

"_I thought I did too, don't worry everything is back in order."_

"_Which is why you passed out during gym today?" there was slight teasing tone, but Alfred could see the concern clear in the Brit's emerald eyes._

"_Just a mild side-effect. It's not the first time something like that's happened." Another kiss was exchanged between them before they broke apart completely hearing fast approaching footsteps. _

"_Jeez, Al what happened to you?" Matthew commented seeing his brother looking rather pale sitting on the table in the nurse's office._

"_Passed out while running in gym, but the hero is good to go and ready for some action." Alfred's blue eyes sparkled as he cast a rather cheeky look over at Arthur who only blushed and turned his head away._

"_Git."_

"_Hello, Arthur. I'll stay with him if you want to go back to class." The Canadian offered seeing the other's clear annoyance._

"_Thank you Matthew, I don't know how much longer I could have dealt with him.'_

"_Oh you love me and you know it."_

"_Alfred, love?"_

"_Yes, sweetheart?"_

"_Go fuck yourself you useless tart." With those parting words, the Brit left to two brothers alone, closing the door behind him._

"_Do you have to be so egotistical?" the smiles fell as the two looked at each other in annoyance, the other day not forgotten._

"_Do you have to be so Canadian?"_

"_Do you have to be so American? I mean really Alfred? You have act like the asshole of the world? Can't you ever tell the truth? I ask you one simple question and you run away from home to do God knows what! Then I find out you and Arthur are really best buds. And what was with the psycho breakdown this weekend? What's wrong with you Al? Are you that afraid of confrontation?" Alfred froze everything melting and blending; he was no longer sitting the nurse's office or looking at his brother._

"_Do you want me to die?" A scream tore from his throat white-hot pain flooding his body, the ceiling of his room filling his sight._

"_Alfred!" a panicked voice filled his ears as he continued to lose focus. He could feel something warm trickling down his arms as a cold hand cupped his cheek, blue eyes meeting green._

"_Arthur, I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry I'm not perfect." He breathed going numb, his mind drifting farther away._

"_Damnit! You can't just leave me! Not now you hopeless git! I do see you has more than a best friend, I'm sorry I made you feel that I thought way. But I don't Alfred I love you. I always have." Hot tears splashed gently onto the younger teen's face, then he was gone his eyes fluttering closed everything fading to black._

A scream tore Alfred's throat raw as he jolted awake covered in a thin coat of cold sweat, goose bumps covering his skin. The stale musky scent of cigarettes, alcohol, and sex brought him back into the present.

"What's wrong, love?" a tired voice slurred beside him, Arthur's accent always thicker upon waking.

"Nightmare, at least I think it was one." The ash blonde replied laying back down, running a hand through his hair making it stick up hiding his cowlick.

"Was it the day you…" Arthur trailed off resting his head on the American's bare chest; he could bring himself to finish the sentence, wanting to forget about that day.

"Yeah, that hasn't happened for months."

"You can't keep running from it, it's going to catch up soon enough."

"I just need to keep running for another year. One last year and it will be over, I'll be able to show who I really am."

"I don't think you have that much time, Matthew's growing suspicious, and a certain 'Prussian' isn't helping matters."

"We both know why he's doing it." Alfred fought back a yawn wrapping an arm around his boyfriend.

"Gil's not the manwhore everyone thinks he is."

"I know he's a good guy, but I don't want to upset Mattie when he finds out who Gil's been with, you know. I mean how would you react if your boyfriend slept with your brother?"

"Eh, good point, but he will find out eventually. Besides you don't even know if your brother is gay or not. He did date Ivan's older sister for a little bit."

"You're right, but it's just I don't know if he'd understand what it is that we do."

"Fret about it later, if you don't get some sleep you'll be a real bastard in the morning and there's no way I'll be dealing with your sorry arse then." Arthur growled, fighting to get out of Alfred's hold, and turning his back to him when the American finally let go.

"You're one to talk, fucking tsundere." The younger teen only rolled his eyes turning over himself so he could spoon his boyfriend.

"Yandere twat."

"You don't even know what that means."

"Belt up and drift off." For once Alfred did as he was told, hoping to bury his worries in bittersweet dreams.

_Next Day_

Matthew sighed sitting on the front steps of his house a book in hand trying to read. He couldn't sleep last night due to his worries over Alfred. There seemed to be a whole other side to his brother that he didn't know about.

"Hey Birdie, what's with the long face?" Gilbert seemed to appear out of nowhere causing the Canadian to jump.

"Just worried about Al, is all. He freaked out on me last night, I haven't seen him since." A flash of concern crossed the albino's features.

"Wait! You do know where he is now right?" He couldn't let Matthew know that he was with Alfred last night, but he could tell something was wrong with the all-American when they met up at the theater. Of course, he lost track of the blonde at some point during the night with all the beer he had. Damn Denmark for challenging him to a drinking contest.

"He was at Arthur's; I didn't know they were friends."

"Kesesesese, they're more than friends." Matthew's violet eyes widened in surprise and confusion.

"Wait. What-"

"You don't know much about your brother do you?"

"I know a lot about my brother!"

"Really? Then why are you so surprised that he ran off to Arthur's? How about his room? It's not what you'd expect from someone on the football team. Although, I know he hates football with a passion so maybe that explains it."

"What are you talking about Gil? Alfred wouldn't be committed to something he hates."

"He's committed to living, isn't he? Look I didn't come to argue with you. In fact, I wanted to ask you out, in friend terms, I mean. There's going to be this awesome concert next Friday night and I wanted to know if you'd like to accompany some awesome for yourself." A light pink-dusted Matthews cheeks, was Gil really asking him out?

"I don't know, I mean with everything going on…"

"Come on it'll take your mind off things."

"Okay, I'll go with you next Friday to this concert."

"Awesome."


	5. Chapter Four

**There's only 2 chapters left, yay! One of my shortest 'long' stories. I think they're easier to write really, I mean I have another story in progress that's 17 chapters over 20,000 words but I feel like there's no end in sight to it. Or maybe I just suck at updating within normal spans of time.**

**THINGS YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW BEFORE READING THIS CHAPTER:**

**This chapter has some saucey content; saucey usuk content. It's really lame actually, not very saucey. This chapter also has a few lyrics but not entire songs, due to the fact that I dislike songfics and the lyrics are nessicary. There's maybe two parts from two different songs, but that's it. ****Lyrics are from: (appear in order listed) 'Swan Dive' by (hed) p.e. and 'Fever' by Bullet for My Valentine**

* * *

Underground

Confusion

_"Whisper, danger  
Warning lights begin to shine  
Over this cloud  
Shedding truth convincing you that_

_It's just a mood_  
_It's just a mood_  
_It's just a mood_  
_Another side of you_

_It's just a mood_  
_It's just a mood_  
_It's just another side of this truth"~ Janus 'If I Were You'_

The two brothers had ignored each other for well over a week; Alfred leaving to hang out with Arthur while they attempted to figure out just what their Prussian friend was planning and Matthew spending his nights reading while trying to figure out what Gil was up to. Only tonight, they wouldn't have to worry over Gilbert's plan much longer; for tonight was Friday.

"Arthur? What's wrong?" Alfred paused in the middle of slipping over a torn mesh tank over his head to look over at the blond.

"I have a bad feeling about tonight, that's all. Something is telling me Gil is going to try to pull something." Emerald eyes sparkled with concern meeting sapphire ones lined with charcoal black.

"He's always trying to pull something. Can we just finish getting ready so we can head out before your Mom comes home?"

"I'll stop worrying for you, love. So what did you have in mind for the meeting tonight?" Arthur slipped on his own white t-shirt with the anarchy symbol dripping down the fabric to mimic blood splatters; there were several large rips allowing the black fish net to show through. "Perhaps a presentation or two?" a small silver bar flashed, catching the light when the Brit cocked his eyebrow to match his suggestive cat-like smirk.

"Hmm, as much as I like the sound of that, it would depend if France showed up or not."

"Damn that frog; no doubt he'll be there to complete the Bad Touch Trio."

"Maybe Denmark will show up, that'd be so fricken sweet!"

"Ah, yes, of course you're part of the Awesome Trio, how could I forget?" sarcasm dripped from the older teen's voice. The three most obnoxious people in the entire academy together at once and the worst part was that they _got along_. Everyone would rather have the three at each other's throats than act like long lost brothers.

"You're just pissed over the fact that you're labeled in the Fail Brothers Trio."

"Gits. I don't even get the 'brother' part; bunch of rubbish."

"At least you're not the Trembling Trio. Man, I hope Lithuania is holding up."

"With Poland by his side, I'm sure he's fine. Now which set of notes are we taking? I was thinking Revolution myself." Both of them flinched at the word.

"I was thinking more along the lines of Civil War." The ash blond mused smudging his eyeliner a bit before sticking out his tongue to inspect the small industrial bar going through it.

"So that's what kind of mood you're in tonight," Arthur looked at him sadly shaking his head. "Some days I wish you could just be a little more manic and a little less depressive."

"You're not the only one, babe."

_-Location: just on the edge of town_-

"Gil, I'm not sure about this. I mean isn't this technically trespassing on private property?" Matthew whispered the albino pulling him further into the rotten theater on the edge of town; it had been closed down in the late 1940's and looked like it as well.

"Chill, just listen and you'll understand." Gilbert pushed him through the doors soon following after; he was surprised to see a path laid out in front of him made of glow sticks that lead to behind the stage. Matthew followed the other teen closely and once they reached the back of the stage he found himself staring at nothing. That's when he felt it, pulsating vibrations coursing through his body coming up from the floor, the heavy pounding of drums and screeching guitars reaching his ears and getting louder. Gilbert turned the corner to the left side of the stage and stopped in front of a moth eaten curtain, quick bursts of strobe lights escaping from the sides.

"Wait, what is this?"

"Welcome to the Underground and if anyone asks your name is Canada and your date is the awesome Kingdom of Prussia. Now come on, we have a meeting to get to." The curtain was pulled aside and Matthew almost went blind at the sight. Lights flashing revealing glimpses of the massive mob of bodies grinding against each other at the bottom of a short set of stairs, the air thick with the smell of alcohol and cigarettes. He spotted a make shift bar on the opposite side of the massive room as they descended into the crowd, that was identical to the main theater above except the seats had been torn out to leave room for raving.

"Everyone from our school is here!" Matthew gasped in surprise spotting Ivan with a few others. Only none of them looked like themselves, of course, no one was allowed to dress in anything but the academy's uniform, but this was to an extreme. Hair was streaked with neon colors, silver sparkled and rippled as piercings caught the light, clothes were torn and ripped, and everyone was shouting out names of countries almost randomly. He only caught 'England' and 'Prussia' at first.

"Yeah, you'll make some friends real quick. Oi! Japan! "Gil, now 'Prussia' shouted grabbing the poor Canadian and dragging him through the crowd.

"Maple!" the violet-eyed teen swore nearly falling over as Prussia dragged up another small section of stairs.

"Hai. Do you need me to watch after Canada for you?" Kiku answered standing to give a quick bow as they approached the small table he was at. It was quite the set up, there was a ledge a good 3ft from the ground on the very edge of the room. There were other tables set-up but only two others seemed occupied.

"Yeah, I got a set to play here and the crowd's getting restless. Plus he'll have a great view from here." Which was true, Matthew was almost next to the stage along the edge, but the table was far enough back that it looked like you were looking at the stage head-on. "Later, Birdie." Then the albino was gone vanishing into the crowd.

"You seem very uncomfortable, Matthew." Kiku stated after sometime as they sat in almost silence.

"I can't figure out what this place is or what is even going on." the blond stuttered over his words still trying to take all of the sights.

"I'm sorry to say that this is a puzzle that will only get more complex before it starts to become simple." Before Matthew could respond the lights suddenly dimmed or stopped in the case of the strobe effects and smooth techno hip-hop tune filled the air; interrupted by a few 'keseseseses' before the drums began followed by an all too familiar voice.

_I climb, hand over hand, closing my eyes  
Too scared to look down  
I climb, hand over hand  
Putting distance between I and I and the ground_

"It can't be." Light flooded the stage revealing the identities of the trio; in the back sat Prussia nodding his head in time to the beats keeping a steady rhythm, then on the far left stood Arthur Kirkland his elegant hands running smoothly over the strings of a bass guitar detailed with a Union Jack, and the final figure who stood on the right side closest to him was his own brother with a microphone in hand his own guitar resting on a stand behind him.

_What could be better than a swan dive into the asphalt  
I don't know, nothing can be better than a swan dive into the asphalt_

It couldn't be his brother; the next lines nothing more than violent shouts bordering on screams. Yet, he could see his brother, those eyes were too blue to be anyone else's, but it just couldn't be Alfred. The ash blond hair was messy hiding a defiant cowlick streaked with black, even more black had been smudged around those blue eyes free of glasses and down ashen cheeks, scars danced across tanned skin that looked pale against the revealing mesh tank, and silver flashed whenever a word was spoken, screamed, or shouted.

_I don't say the right things  
I don't look the right way  
that's just not me_

Matthew looked over at the bassist, if it wasn't for the eyebrows or venomous glare in those green eyes, he wouldn't have guessed it was the president of the Student Council. Bright blond hair spiked, hoops of sliver through bruised lips, even more adorning the president's ears and eyebrows, black skinny jeans that looked too small for a preteen girl to even squeeze into, and a small pendent hanging off a leather choker around a hickey marked neck.

_I get to the top, stand on the edge, look to the sky_

there's nothing left for me

"America is quite good isn't he?" Kiku asked the song drawing to a close the last line continually being screamed in a way that had Matthew wondering how Alfred wasn't coughing blood by now.

"Y-yeah."

"Japan how could you steal the best seat and not tell me! Canada! You finally made it and just in time!" a bubbly brunette embraced him.

"Eliza-" the Canadian was cut off before he could finish.

"It's Hungary when we're here."

"Okay."

"Now shut up I want to record this."

"Oh so there's nothing left for you now?" Arthur scoffed an odd silence filling the room, only a few mutterings of 'usuk' reaching Matthew's ears.

"Don't sound that way, England, you're the reason I'm standing here now." Alfred's voice softened as he crossed over to the Brit, taking the smaller man into his arms.

"Which is why you want to leave me, right? Because heaven forbid that, the great America is ever seen weak. You don't need me." Everyone was too engrossed in the two blondes to notice two newcomers taking their places with instruments of their own.

"You're wrong, I do need you. Can't you feel it?" a feral growl escaped his brother's lips as he pressed a kiss to Arthur's neck.

"Feel what exactly? You tosser." It was easy to see that Arthur's cold shoulder act was melting quite rapidly.

"Well, my bittersweet little tart…" the music kicked up again, heavier than the first song.

_It's hot as hell in here, everybody wants to lose control  
The music's turned up loud, the lights are turned down low  
Wound up like a hurricane and my head is about to explode  
Can't wait to self-destruct, can't wait to let it go_

It was hard to decide if it really was just a stage act, the two blonds grinding a bit before Arthur pushed Alfred away. It just seemed so wrong, all of it. Matthew could feel a headache starting to come on, nothing was making sense. Had this been what all of Gil's cryptic messages meant? That this had been what his brother was really hiding. Yet, it still didn't fit, none of what was going on was. He looked around him at the crowd in front of the stage to the back corner filled with teen's trying to get drunk off their asses.

_Come here you naughty girl, you're such a tease  
You look so beautiful down on your knees  
Keep on those high heel shoes, rip off all your clothes  
You smell so fucking good, it makes me lose control_

A high-pitched squeal pulled his attention back to the stage in time to see Alfred push Arthur to his knees, the green-eyed teen licking his lips before pulling at the chains on his brother's Tripp pants, which were hanging in a rather uncomfortable area for his liking. That's when he bolted; tripping over himself in his rush to leave.

"What's wrong? Where are you going, Canada?" Elizabeta called out in shock, he caught the slight fumble in the song caused by Gilbert, but it didn't matter he just needed to get out of there. Whatever Gil had been trying to do only left him more confused and at the same time he could feel his blood boiling, but not towards the albino.

No, he was pissed at Alfred, his brother had this secret life for who knows how long, lied to him for who knows how long? It was decided he was going to get answers and he would get them tonight, when his _beloved_ brother returned home.


	6. Chapter Five

**This is extremely late getting posted and I'm not really that happy with it so I'm sorry if it sucks. But what I had first written for this story turned out almost completely different from the previous chapters so I had to rework half of it and them make up the other half. **

**Also don't ask about Amelia Jones, she's not the female verson of America cast as his mother in the story, I have her more as like a Native America to represent his mother or even like Columbia who was the personification that came before Uncle Sam in America's history, but in no way is she lady liberty or the female version of America.**

**Anyway...**

**Enjoy~**

* * *

**Underground**

Break

_Bottomless celebrity scar _

_Staged circuses for schoolgirls, _

_Us boys are all dressed up like a _

_Mediocre suicide omen. _

_Here comes the red carpet grave _

_Again and again and again, _

_Oh man. _

_~ Marilyn Manson "The Red Carpet Grave"_

Matthew could barely catch his breath as he sprinted into his brother's room the door hanging wide open. There had to be an explanation somewhere hidden in Alfred's room, there had to be proof that the teen on stage that he had seen wasn't his brother. Yet as he looked over the room he doubted that he would be able to find anything useful, everything covered in clothes and McDonald's wrappers that seemed to taking a green tone. The laptop sat open on the bed guarded only by Tony, the stuffed alien that had been sent as gift from their cousin in Roswell.

He had only gotten a glimpse of a Facebook page titled America before the screen flickered to black that the battery had died. "Maple Hockey." The violet eyed teen swore unable to investigate further before moving onto his brother's dresser a glimmer of silver catching his eye.

Dozens of chains and earrings lay scattered over the surface joined by several eyeliner pencils all charcoal black with matching bottles of nail polish the same shade. Alfred's glasses sat on a stack of photos which left Matthew without any scrap of hope that it hadn't been his brother on stage.

One picture was of the three standing together in what looked like a makeshift dressing room, Gilbert's face flushed from what he guessed as too much alcohol as the albino teen hung half-hazard fashion over Alfred's right shoulder. Who was just as flushed looking but by the smug look on Arthur's face and both of their hair it seemed it was less to do drinking and more do to a heavy make-out.

Another picture confirmed his theory; the two blondes captured forever lip locked in a rather cozy doorway. There were more taken in a similar fashion, but most were of his brother with others from school. Still all of them caused his blood to boil; everyone he knew had been holding this secret life from him and he couldn't understand _why._ Sure it wasn't like what they were doing was exactly legal nevertheless it wasn't like he was a total tightass who would squeal. In fact he had spent plenty of weekends with Lars which he couldn't really remember anything except that he was crazy hungry during those times.

He dropped the pictures his face twisting in confusion seeing the bright orange prescription bottle laying in an open draw overflowing with fishnet and leather. ** Alfred F. Jones** stood out boldly followed by strict directions **take 1 pill daily DO NOT stop taking medication unless as directed** **by doctor.**

"Oh god." The bottle slipped from his fingers concern and fear taking over the anger eating away at him as he looked up into the mirror. His throat tightened as he turned around hoping that he wasn't actually seeing what he was seeing.

_**I'm sorry I'm not perfect**_

There everything clicked as he stared at the blood that had dried long ago his conversation with Gil echoing in his mind.

_"You don't know much about your brother do you?"_

"_I know a lot about my brother!"_

_"Really? Then why are you so surprised that he ran off to Arthur's? How about his room? It's not what you'd expect from someone on the football team. Although, I know he hates football with a passion so maybe that explains it."_

_"What are you talking about Gil? Alfred wouldn't be committed to something he hates."_

_"He's committed to living, isn't he?"_

"Mattie?" Violet eyes met concerned cerulean and all logic he had gathered shattered, darkness over taking his vision as he swayed.

"Alfie?" then he crumbled to the floor only recalling the sound of rushing feet. Alfred watched in horror as his brother fainted, his heart twisting with regret, too frozen to move. Gilbert rushed forward to catch the other and Arthur helped carry the Canadian to his room. Now the trio sat in the living room after removing most of their stage make-up waiting for Matthew to come around.

'This is all my fault, if I had just chosen to tell him. I never wanted him to find out this way, even Mom wanted to wait till we were done with school. Then again she doesn't even know everything that I've been doing.' The thoughts rushed through Alfred's mind as he sat picking off flecks of polish from his nails.

"Try to stay calm, love." An accepted voice spoke softly pulling Alfred from his thoughts, Arthur taking one of the sunny blonde's hands in his own and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"I am, barely, but I am. What am I going to say to him? I can't tell him the truth can I?"

"Well you can't exactly tell him it's a phase," Gil commented freely entering from the kitchen. "Your mom is on her way. She'll be here in 10 give or take."

"You want me to tell him that I'm completely fucked up? Mentally?"

"Alfred! You're not fucked up! It's that type of rubbish that causes you to regress." Acid green eyes sharped locking with blue.

"But it's the truth! I never wanted Mattie to find out about any of this, even if I told him, he didn't need to know how I cope with it." Alfred snapped pulling away from his boyfriend in a snap fit of anger.

"It'll be fine, Birdie is pure awesomeness just like his bro, he'll understand." Gil flopped next to the American teen and slung an over his shoulder.

"But what if he doesn't?"

"Don't judge too quickly, Alfred." Amelia Jones scolded lightly at her son upon entering the living room looking flustered at having to end her shift at the hospital early.

"There's a lot you don't know about Mom." The three teens couldn't bring themselves to meet her deep chocolate gaze as she studied their appearance.

"I promise that I won't judge quickly either, I didn't before. Now Gilbert I called your brother and told him that you'd be home first thing this morning. Arthur your mother said that it was fine with her if you wanted to stay."

"That's so unawesome Mrs. Jones. Later Alfred, later Arthur." Gil gave a short wave before heading out the front door without protest.

"How would boys like some breakfast? You can tell me everything once Matthew is up." She offered a smile going to the kitchen without a second thought.

"We'd love some Mrs. Jones." Arthur replied seeing that Alfred was lost in thought once again. Even he couldn't deny the tension in the air, the calm before the storm, the calm before the truth came out.

"Go change and I'll call you down when it's ready. Oh, and Arthur," Mrs. Jones turned her head around the corner a wicked gleam in her eyes, "Call me Mom." She laughed never seeing the two move so fast up the stairs before turning back to the kitchen with a sigh. This was the day she had been waiting for where everything that had been building up would come out. She would be lying if she said she didn't think that Alfred was hiding something from her and it honestly terrified her that he was.

Much like the last like he had been hiding something from her, she hadn't thought anything of his behavior until the day the ambulance came in to the hospital during her shift and it was her son on the stretcher being rushed into surgery. Then to learn that it wasn't because he had been in an accident but because he had attempted to kill himself put her into shock.

Alfred had tried to kill himself, her son, who was friends with everyone, who had the mind of a genius, who was the star player of the football team, who stood up against any type of injustice, and who had the bluest eyes she had ever seen. Those blue eyes that challenged the sky with their brilliant color and could see straight through anyone.

Yet, now as she thought back onto the day it didn't really surprise her. Alfred had tried to kill himself, her son, who _**tried **_to be friends with everyone,who _**was afraid **_to show his genius,and was sorry that he couldn't be perfect.

She stopped trying to hold back her strangled sobs and broke down into tears.


	7. Chapter Six

**Just a little note on Ava and Alex, they are 2 of Alfred's 50 cousins, you know who represent the states as mentioned in the intro, they're not really in here just their names are mentioned. **

**But incase you wanted to know; Ava represents Ohio since it's my home state and as well as the home of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame which oddly enough I haven't been there despite living only an hour away from it. While Alex is New York just because I felt like it.**

**Also 'Been to Hell' belongs to Hollywood Undead, everytime I hear a certain lyric I think of an Alfred F. Jones**

**Anyway...**

**Enjoy~**

* * *

**Underground**

Confession

_"Who's to blame for the lives that tragedies claim_

_ No matter what you say_

_ It don't take away the pain_

_ That I feel inside, I'm tired of all the lies_

_ Don't nobody know why_

_ It's the blind leading the blind_

_ I guess that's the way the story goes_

_ Will it ever make sense_

_ Somebody's got to know_

_ There's got to be more to life than this_

_ There's got to be more to everything_

_ I thought exists"_

_"Youth of a Nation" P.O.D._

"Maddie…"Alfred's blue eyes widened seeing his brother descend the stairs; he jumped up causing the blonde in his lap to hit the floor with an indignant squeak of outrage.

"Don't," violet eyes glared back coldly, not fazed by the shocked faces of everyone in the room. "Just let me if I understand this. My little brother is a stereotypical emo teen who plays in an underground music movement that goes by codenames using the names of countries. Which his boyfriend is also part of, though their relationship is secret and they act like they hate each other. Oh let's not forget that my brother tried to kill himself! And my mother decided that it wasn't important to inform of that." the words were sharp causing the American teen to flinch, tightening his grip on Arthur's hand for support, as the two returned to their position on the couch.

"Matthew!" Amelia snapped just as quickly. "Give your brother and I a chance to explain; I wasn't even aware of all of the things that he's been doing. However, you taking that tone isn't going to get us anywhere now take a seat." the blonde in question simply nodded trying to regain his composure as his took the seat opposite of his brother.

"I'll tell you everything, Mattie. You just have to tell me where to start, because I don't know where too. This wasn't the way I wanted you to find out about this."

"What do you take the medication for? I found the empty bottles in your room." The Canadian spoke calmly through gritted teeth.

"I'm manic-depressive, basically bipolar. Only some days my low gets a little too low if I miss." The words were slow and hesitant, not something that he was used to coming from his brother taking him my surprise.

"When did you get diagnosed?"

"After…after my suicide attempt, it was the summer that you left to stay with your aunt. Arthur and I had broken up a few weeks before you left leaving me pretty alone and I guess I just stopped caring."

"Was that the first time you-"

"tried to kill myself? Yeah, but I had been cutting months before that happened, so I downed my last bottle of pills, a bottle of gin, slit my wrists for good measure, and said fuck it." Matthew swallowed wanting to be pissed, but the way his brother spoke so easily of how he tried to end his life shook him to the core. A choked sob caught his attention; Arthur had fresh tears rolling freely down his fair cheeks, but was trying to hide the fact.

"I'm so sorry Al," the British teen muttered as he felt a hand that could only belong to his boyfriend come to rest on his lower back.

"Arthur you can't blame yourself, I was out of line. Besides if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here right now."

"But if it wasn't for me you wouldn't have needed me to save you in the first place. I drove you to such horrible extremes."

"All in the past, our relationship wasn't as serious as it is now." Alfred smiled pressing a chaste kiss to Arthur's temple pulling him closer.

"Wait, that was three years ago, you've been keeping this a secret for 3 years? And how did you find out?" Matthew addressed his mother turning away from the bittersweet scene in front of him. His brother was in an actual loving relationship and had been for at least 3 years, but never spoke a word about it. The knowledge hurt, even more when he wasn't there when his brother needed him because he hadn't known. A small part of him wanted to be pissed at Arthur for breaking his brother's heart and almost costing him his brother, but it was also the effeminate British teen that was able to save Alfred.

"Actually 4 years, I got a call from school about how these two were caught smoking on school grounds as well as playing tonsil hockey underneath the bleachers." Amelia smirked at the two on the couch seeing them turn red clear up to their ears, fortunately Arthur recovered first.

"It was an on and off relationship, but when things were just starting to get serious, as much as serious can be when you're 14. We had a huge fight and it was over. I told him that I hated him, acted like it too. I became the stuffy student president once more." Arthur explained quickly seeing look on Matthews face.

"While I just turned into a ticking time-bomb waiting to self-destruct, both of us were worse off than before." Alfred added quickly before flinching under his boyfriend's acidic glare as the words left his mouth.

"Don't forget you turned into a total manwhore."

"Sleeping with two guys does not…wait it was three guys, but that doesn't make me a whore. Anyway, I found no point in anything and gave up, thinking that everyone would be better off without me."

"I had a bad feeling that Alfred being Alfred would do something stupid so I stopped by one day. Just so happens that it would be the day he said his final farewells." The atmosphere began to grow tense as the story's details came into light.

"I was working the day they brought Alfred in and once he woke up a psychologist came in determined that he was bi-polar. He spent a month in therapy which is why I called your aunt and suggested that you stay for the remainder of the summer." Violet eyes widened in surprise that it had been his mother's decision for him to be left out of his brother's life.

"You mean you didn't want me to come back to support Alfred? And you went right along with it?" Matthew's entire calm demeanor broke at the information, his soft voice on par with Alfred's for once.

"I didn't want you to come back to all of that, I wasn't me. I was just trying to protect you from what I did." Cerulean eyes widened in surprise, the American teen defending his actions.

"Then why does everyone else know?" Matthew spat his anger returning swiftly. "What were you protecting me from? If there's something wrong with you, I want to know so I could help you! When did you plan on telling me? So I wouldn't have to find out by your best friend taking me to one of your secret underground concerts. Is that what you were protecting me from? Your secret life as America?" Amelia looked over at her son and his boyfriend in question; she hadn't heard any of this before.

"Alfred what is your brother talking about? What is it about underground concerts?"

"It's my way of coping, Ava and Alex took me to an underground concert when we were on vacation in New York, they also taught me how to play guitar the same summer. I had forgotten about how much it meant to me until after my suicide attempt. The music helped me recover till my medication got me straightened out," a smiled tugged at Alfred's lips as he explained. "Afterwards Arthur, Gil, and I started our own little underground club up at the old theater. _I'm the reason you came here; I'm the American tragedy. _Ever since I shouted those words with our first performance of "Been to Hell" on opening night I've been called America. So that became the thing, we referred to each other by country codenames and created a place where we could be ourselves. I wasn't the only one tired of being perfect."

"You two are going to be having a serious conversation with me about that after this discussion is over." Amelia simply responded trying to take in all of the new information she'd been given. She also made a mental note to call Ava and Alex later to give her niece and nephew a piece of her mind.

"How can you be so fucking stupid, Alfred?" Matthew shouted standing in pure outrage. "Did you not think that I deserved to know all of this? I would have helped you so you wouldn't have had to create this huge lie. I mean do you ev-"

"This is why I didn't want to tell you! I knew you wouldn't understand me at all! I don't need any fucking help! I'm not a child Matthew!" Alfred was on his feet as well the two face to face.

"But you're still my little brother and don't even say that you don't need any fucking help! You just proved how unstable you are and popping pills isn't doing anything to help you!"

"Your half-brother who's only younger by three days so it doesn't count for shit! And I was fine without the pills until you started listening to Gil and putting your nose into business where it didn't fucking belong!"

"Do you even hear yourself or look at yourself before you go out on that stage? Who I saw wasn't my brother but a lying cliché who doesn't know how to handle himself!"

"You don't know anything about me! I would have told you the truth if I knew you wouldn't have acted like this!" Matthew sucked in a breath to respond but hesitated seeing how his brother was trembling, a distant look in his eyes. Then it hit him, his brother wasn't there, Alfred was fighting every instinct that told him to run and bleed away his emotions until he wouldn't feel anything.

"Look Alfie, let's just calm down, it's obvious that you're upset right now and y-"

"No shit, bro."

"Let's just try to talk this out after you go take your medication."

"Now you're saying that my pill popping works? Here's a newsflash, I know that you thinking, but I'm not broken, I don't need to be fixed." Then as to prove his statement a lie, Alfred shattered, collapsing to the floor on his knees in choked sobs. "I don't need to be fixed. I don't need to be fixed. I don't need to be fixed."

"Alfred!" Arthur cried out falling to his boyfriend's side still in shock at the two brothers' fight his mother followed suit. A cold feeling enveloped Matthew as chill of guilt filling his chest, his expression softened as he tried to take a step towards his brother.

"Alfie…"

"Haven't you done enough?" Arthur's acid green eyes glared back at him causing him to step back as if burned; now he understood why no one messed with the small Englishman.

"Matthew go wait in your room." Amelia stood facing her other son, disappoint clear in her voice. She suddenly looked very old to him, the stress taking its toll on everyone in the room.

"I'm going to get some air." He ran not looking back as he slammed the door shut behind him and he ran not knowing where he was going, but the burning sensation of hatred building in the pit of his stomach lead the way.

_I was fine without the pills until you started listening to Gil and putting your nose into business where it didn't fucking belong!_

_I was fine without the pills until you started listening to Gil._

_Until you started listening to Gil._

_Until you started listening to Gil._

_"_Until I started listening to Gil." He whispered breathlessly slowing as he reached the familiar fenced yard, with the familiar orchestra of barking dogs accompanied by the twitters of a canary, and with the unique kesesese that could only belong to a certain albino Prussian.


	8. Chapter Seven

**This took way to long to update and it is also far too short, but the last chapter is next and I'm planning on getting that up within a month after my schedule clears up.**

* * *

_"You're getting sick of this life facing the truth  
Chasing the lies you live by won't be something new to you,  
I haven't spoke of bad times  
I have no use  
Erase the memories it's something I must do"_

_~ Evans Blue 'Sick of It'_

"Birdie! How's your twin?" Gil slurred opening the door wearing nothing but his boxers printed like the Prussian flag. The grin fell from his face catching the look of pure hatred on Matthew's face, he only had a second to brace himself before the Canadian tackled him the floor swinging punches wildly.

"You fucking bastard!"

"Whoa! Whoa! What the fuck?" the punches faded out into nothing more than heart wrenching sobs and soon Gil found himself holding the crying blonde. Several minutes passed before Matthew got a hold of himself again and soon enough the anger returned. The blonde on his feet and in the albino's face voice at full volume.

"Alfred told me everything or more I forced him to after I figured it out myself. You knew and decided to play games instead of just fucking tell me in the first place!"

"Look, Mattie-"

"Don't call me that! I thought you were my friend Gil, I had thought that maybe you finally saw me as more than a face in the background and then you drag me through hell and to accomplish what?"

"I like you."

"You sure have a funny way of showing it then. Do you have any idea what you just did to my family?"

"I didn't mean for this to happen, this wasn't how it was supposed to go."

"Then how was it supposed to go, because I don't see how breaking my trust in Alfred benefited you."

"I was hoping that you'd stop listening to him about how I was bad news for you."

"What? He never said anything like that. In fact he never really talked about you at least not to me, but he was right and I wish he would have warned me." Gil stood frozen watching Matt leave without hesitation, he began to pray that Alfred would at least forgive him. Although Ludwig had always warned him that he'd end up digging his own grave and it looked like he'd buried himself as well.

**A Week Later**

"You don't have to do this Mattie." Alfred's voice was soft as he watched his brother finish packing for his return to Canada.

"Yeah, I do Al, I can't handle the stress here, I don't even know what to believe anymore. And you don't trust me enough to tell me the truth." Matthew felt his throat tighten; he couldn't believe he was leaving. That he was going to live with his aunt in Canada until he turned 18 and graduated high school. He was going to turn away from his life in the United States, from Alfred, and it hurt to do so. But it was exactly what he needed.

"I trust you, I'm just sorry that I still ended up hurting you when that was what I had been trying to avoid."

"I'm sorry too." Then he was grabbing his suitcase and walking out the front door feeling more numb than he had in a long time. Hopefully he'd be able to bury everything underground soon enough and move on, but he had a nagging feeling that this was something that just couldn't be buried.


End file.
